To Jog or Not To Jog

About four years ago I was diagnosed with mononucleosis at age 34. I was pretty convinced I was the oldest person on the entire planet to ever catch mono…I was also the most exhausted. The illness hit me like a hurricane (which I would know all about, being from Texas). It decimated my immune system. Forget exercise. Forget jogging, yoga, lifting weights….even walking was a dim dream in my memory banks. Two years later, at age 36, I started walking a few times a week. That didn’t last long. I tried again at 37. This time I was stronger. A couple of months ago, I finally started back jogging. I LOVE how my body feels!

But last week I was getting dressed for a casual party, and slipped – or should I say tugged – on a pair of long shorts that are my favorite. When I got to my friend’s house, it was all I could talk about. I was heartbroken. Here I was, finally jogging my favorite local park daily, feeling wonderful, mood improved, appetite stabilized by all the fresh air and exercise, and sleeping deeply at night….and there are side effects!

Finally, near the end of the evening, I had had enough of myself. I told myself sternly, “Imagine for a moment that you have never seen yourself. You have no idea what you look like. You can only go on FEEL. What would you choose then – to jog, or not to jog?”

The choice was as clear as the dawn sky the morning after the hurricane has passed through. I would choose to JOG.

I went jogging again last night after work. Afterwards, I ate a healthy, lovely dinner, did a bit more work, read a novel a friend loaned me, played with my pet cockatiel, Pearl (who doesn’t have ANY self-esteem issues, let me tell you!) and went to sleep.

I am teaching myself to make my choices from the inside out, not the outside in. As Bob would say in ‘What About Bob?’ “I feel good. I feel great. I feel wonderful.”

And I really DO.

~ by smcutts on July 11, 2008.